It’s dusk in Montmartre and the red sun’s setting over Paris. Lovers line the staircase that reaches up to the great doors of Sacre Coeur, where evening mass is about to begin. For a few kids from the US of A, it’s time to start drinking and grab a bit to eat. Rumor has it there’s a little known fondue restaurant tucked into one of the side streets of the nearby red-light district known for serving table wine in baby bottles. The air smells of roasted chestnuts and hashish. They locate the secret spot and are greeted by the staff, a few rugby players who neglected to shower after the game. The restaurant is overflowing with drunken youth, their chins stained red with wine. Drinking from the nipple is a skill easily lost. There are two extended picnic benches pressed up against each wall of the rectangular restaurant. In order to be seated against the wall, guests must step across the tables and situate themselves among other participants. Black steaming cauldrons of fondue stand two feet apart on the tables. There are two options, cubes of meat and cubes of bread. The crowd uses elongated forks with tiny prongs for the feeding. The waiters are cheering on their guests as young men in “I Love Paris” T-shirts finish off their fifth or sixth bottle of red. The Americans are told the fondue is made of three kinds of cheese, none of which are worth eating in any other form. When asked whether the group would like meat or bread, they consider the components of an ordinary meal and reply “both, si vous plait.” Two hours later, diners are good and full, plenty pissed and ready to head to the Latin Quarter, where they will likely find an Irish pub filled with other English-speaking travelers.
You need not travel far to dunk bread in cheese and suck vino from the rubbery tip of a baby bottle. In fact, the entire scenario can be reinvented in your home with friends, and if you’re looking for outsiders, head over to the Irish pub and grab a few burly looking gentlemen.
Fondue Serves 6
1 clove garlic, peeled and cut in half lengthwise
1 1/2 cups dry white wine
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup kirsch
1/2 pound Emmental, in cubes
1/2 pound Gruyere, in cubes
1 large loaf of country-style
bread, cut in cubes
8 wooden skewers
Rub the inside of a heavy pot with the garlic. Throw out the garlic. Add the wine to the pot and place over medium heat. Bring to a simmer. In a separate bowl, mix the cornstarch and the kirsch. Slowly add to the wine. Stir. Then add the cheese, one cube at a time, giving each a chance to melt. Continue to stir the fondue until all of the cheese has melted. Cut the bread into cubes. The rest is common sense.
