We’re all hairy, pale and less-than-lustrous before our routine beautification rituals. Here are a few that are absolutely essential, and others that take it a bit overboard.
THE ESSENTIALS
Waxing, Threading and other Hair Removal Treatments... Within limits
It’s just one of those modern must-do’s. I’m certainly not advocating going whole-hog (I still shave my legs with a razor), but a regular ol’ bikini wax is pretty much expected nowadays (unless you’ve found a killer solution for razor burn), and you can easily find good places to do it for under $40, or those threading places can do your eyebrows for a mere $15. And gents, a word on back waxing. If you’re even thinking about whether or not you need to, the answer is “yes.”
Pedicures
While manicures might still be a special occasion item, unless you just got engaged or you’re particularly into sparkles and falsies, pedicures have become de rigueur for both sexes — particularly during the summer. If you’re the type who moisturizes, clips and buffs regularly, maybe you’re exempt, but personally, I’d rather pick a nice clean salon in my neighborhood with a $20 special and cool colors.
Facials & Acne Treatments
This may seem like something you’d do during a “day of opulence” at a Park Avenue South spa, but if you struggle with zits or blackheads or oily skin — and in this polluted, bus-exhaust city, who doesn’t? — these really do make a visible difference. Stick with a facialist you like and watch them become like the great hairstylist you rely on: “Hmm, your forehead gets oily in the summer. Let’s get you a lighter moisturizer.” Genius! Go on, spend $50 every couple of months and you’ll feel dewy and confident.
THE EXTRANEOUS
Teeth Whitening
If you want to spend your nights wearing Crest Whitestrips, that’s your business. But spending $400 to professionally bleach your chompers just seems a little “I’m Troy McClure, you might recognize me from such films as…” for me.
Permanent Makeup
I can practically hear you gasping. It’s true. Some women actually tattoo on eyeliner and darker eyebrows. True, they probably look more put-together when they wake up in the morning than I do, but good god.
Tanning
First it was horrific UV tanning beds, then it was the funky-smelling Mystic spray tan, and now it’s custom, hand-applied, organic lotion. But friends, it’s still as cheesy as it was in its first incarnation. Stick with bronzer.